A girl who fell down the rabbit hole

I have an irrational mind that makes peculiarity into a world of wonder and madness. Can you catch up with my sporadic train of thought? My presence is short and insidious. Tea?

dear nyuu

 

~nuuu too lazy to actually use my camera to document things, so I’m just gonna use my phone’s camera. Speaking of camera, I borrowed a photography book from one of my friend a few weeks back; however, I haven’t gotten the time to look over it…since I’ve been busy with other things but but…I’m excited to learn new stuff /good

youngling -taken on galaxy s5

Anywho, I’ve been reading a lot of Dear Coquette these past few weeks. I’m late to following her blog, but seriously, I’m hooked on her witty insight on life and other annoying aspects of life. Albeit, I do not take her advice personally, I still find them entertaining and helpful in a lot of ways. Has anyone else read her blog before? I highly recommend her if you haven’t. Yes, she’s brutal, but she makes valid points. Dear Coquette is anonymous, so her identity is a huge mystery and quite frankly, I prefer it that way. I like the mystery, she can be a dude for all I know, but who cares? I admire the pure bluntness of her wisdom. It’s also really humorous or am I just being sadistic?

frannerd devil

(Frannerd sticker from LINE app)

Yeah, I am pretty much addicted to using the above emoticon/sticker from the LINE app. I can seriously just end each sentences or thought with the above sticker and it’ll still make me giggle /lovely  If only I can make such cunning expression in real life… oh, the possibilities!

beauty night

(Frannerd sticker from LINE app)

facial sheet masks everywhere!Also, I’ve been really into facial sheet masks /puuunniiii Sure, I’ve used them years ago, but I’ve always been way too lazy to keep up with them, so I always end up with expired left overs /teaar I know, wasteful… I’m sorrieee. Perhaps, because I’m older now and I enjoy “beauty” time a bit more because it’s really relaxing. I’ve always been the type that likes to multitask so, I can’t really sit still unless I’m listening to music…well, sometimes I end up twirling around, but that’s a different story /smirkk So far, I seem to be liking all the inexpensive sheet masks, the ones that you can find in your local asian grocery stores, the prices ranges from .98 cents to 1.50~ish. It really locks in the moisture, which got me thinking…maybe I can achieve the same effect by using very fine but sturdy cotton pads squares/rounds and soak it up with serums and moisturizer and apply that onto my face?  (more…)

clockwork

My mind has been going haywire ever since I stopped blogging. It’s not that I took a break from blogging; it’s more like me being unable to focus—too busy running away from the moment, but at the same time, trying to catch up with the present. Essentially, blogging is what keeps me a bit sane—despite the insanity that I sometime spill onto here.

I’m not sure if this remedy is healthy, but for the past year or so, I literally cannot function properly without music—the kind where I have to plug my ears with headphones and listen to music on maximum volume. Otherwise, I get anxiety attacks when I don’t. Like clockwork, everything around me starts to crumble and the vibration of people’s movement and voices starts to hurt me. I don’t know why. No matter what the music is, it pieces my life back together…it just doesn’t necessarily put the correct pieces in the right places, so in the end, it all falls apart again.

I guess I need to shut the world off for several hours in a day or else I’ll end up feeling very anxious and the uneasiness spoils my vision. Like a drug and I’m highly dependent on it. I don’t think I can function without it. This is a temporary fix that I need each day. What has happened to me?

/uo But look, something cute:

fairy blue *alpaca

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A Dark Heart

It’s not just a nightmare, it’s a memory. 

My childishness surprises me sometimes. Even just the habit of holding onto my stuff animals, I find comfort. I feel safe and protected. Whenever I’m in broad daylight, surrounded by people, I feel very unsafe. Almost as if the light exposes my armorless exterior. I fear knowing-eyes; it’s not fair that I’m left here on this stage.

It didn’t rain tonight. I was disappointed coming out of work. I like to play in the pouring rain. Of course, I usually get sick the day after, but I think it’s all worth it. The other day I realized that a lot of the things I enjoy doing….is usually free. I mean, I never thought of myself as a simple person, but I guess I am kind of a simple person. I like going to the park and play on the swings. I like running around in the rain and I like playing with stray cats. The only expense is transportation. I love to travel. If I’m lucky, I want to travel all over the world, but never staying in one place for too long because I don’t want to grow attach to anything or anyone. If only.

walking with ∫℘ί∂ℯrş

 

You know how when you were a kid, you used to think to yourself, “I’m never going to turn into that kind of person! I don’t understand them; I’ll never become THAT person.” But then, you’re finally a 20-something year old, or a 30-something year old, or 40, 50,…and you realized that you’ve become exactly THAT kind of person.

The world has a twisted kind of humor, doesn’t it? It used to be easy to stay put, but then the world decided to hunt you down and all you can do is run. Even your own shadow has traded spaces with you. No longer human, but just a body collapsed on the ground, with people occasionally passing by.

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